On Will Power
I put that in quotations because, well, honestly, I have a lack of will power. Waking up to go for a 6 mile run on a Saturday morning does not please me in any way.
I’m not doing bad by any means but this week I am supposed to run 8 miles. That sounds incredibly daunting to me. It’s like, “Oh, I’m sorry friend, I can’t have dinner and a glass of wine with you tonight because I have to wake up at 8:00 am to run for an hour. Yes, just run.” I just can’t get my mind there. I haven’t experienced a runners high and I get winded after mile 3. I start breathing heavy and slowing down. I never want to wake up and go run.
Now, if I had to wake up and go play a tennis match or softball game, count me in! So why is it that running defies me? Not any other sport, just running. I find it boring, difficult and simply unsatisfying. I find myself, instead of focusing on my breathing or the song in my head, counting every pace and counting down every second.
Running is mental. And perhaps I am not mentally tough enough yet. Perhaps I don’t have the will power yet.
The question is so obvious. Why do I run? Because I signed up for a half marathon. I signed up for the half because it was the only way to get myself to work out on a consistent basis. Want to know a secret? It worked…
I may not love running but I am working out 5 solid days a week. I am starting to see muscles I forget existed when I was 17. I can do 20 consecutive push-up (girl, because I’m a girl). I can hold a plank for beyond 60 seconds, if asked. I can go to my arms, abs, and assets class for 45 minutes without dying. And I never feel guilty when I eat an entire pasta meal for dinner or an entire sleeve of crackers.
(Because, as I said, I have no will power.)
So I’ll push through and keep running. I’m not promising record-breaking times or that I will keep up with anyone I “should” keep up with but I will run 13.1 miles on May 18th and I will finish.
And maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll have enough will power to say no to the Oreos and yes to an 8 mile run.
Any advice from my fellow runners?